Preparing for a death of a loved one can be an empowering thing to do. It allows engaging in the process of letting go and diving deeper into what connected you and your loved one. In this article, I am trying to assist you in this rather challenging task based on my shamanic understanding of death and dying.
Death in Shamanism
In Shamanic tradition, death is understood as a great mystery that all of us will encounter at one point. Therefore the preparation for this very special transition is utterly essential. Shamans, as well as other medicine men/women, see death as something sacred. This critical time of transition needs to be honored and offers an excellent opportunity to get closer to the mysteries of life.
Shamans and other healers have specific rituals and sacred ceremonies to deal with the fear of death and dying. During these rituals, they gain insights about the afterlife and receive important information on preparations that need to be done for someone who is about to transition.
Unfortunately, death is only seen as something to fear in our modern society. The aging process is denied in our culture, and we like to keep it away from us as much as possible. However, this has led to significant problems in our relationship with life and death, and we don’t understand the sacredness such an experience can offer.
Before your times come - you can assist others in their transition
Before our own time comes, we will probably get the chance to encounter several opportunities in which we can participate in the transition of others. Some transitions will be quick and unexpected, others we will have more time for preparation for the upcoming loss.
Either way, it will always be a painful encounter, especially if the person who passes away is close to you. The grief and the pain of loss may be heavy but also sacred emotions and should be dealt with in the most delicate way.
In my Astroshamanic work, I often walk on the threshold of life and death, even in a more spiritual way. The death of the ego, the letting of who I thought I was, and releasing myself from social and cultural conditioning have their own challenges. But we must die to our old selves to be transformed into the new.
Through my astroshamanic work, I gathered some helpful insights that can help you enhance your personal experience when faced with the loss of a loved one.
Expect the unexpected
It’s important to understand that death is often not a straightforward happening. Some of us will have time to prepare for their transition, and others will transit unexpectedly. Both pathways to the final stages bring changes to our lives, often in a very unexpected way. If you have time to prepare for a loss or transition, it can be a long, bearing process with a lot of emotional pressure knowing the final day is yet to come. On the other hand, if someone passes unexpectedly, you will be left with shock, trauma, and the burden of reoccurring questions to which you might not get any answers.
The inner world
This is the place “inside” of us where you hold our love and grief. Processes that maybe not be seen so much on the outside. Your feelings of anger, fear, and worry, but also love, and longing, are at home in this space. It is important when you lose or are about to lose a loved one, to go inside and work yourself through the complexity of emotions. These emotions will change daily, one day, you are okay, and on other days you feel close to a nervous breakdown.
These changes in moods and emotions will come in waveforms, and their intensity will vary. During such times it is important to be flexible and allow space for all that you feel. Furthermore, to do what feels right for you at this moment in time.
Taking time off, going for walks, and doing some writing can also help to process the happenings.
On other days you might want to do some exercise to release the anger that has been building up inside of us.
The outer world
Stands for everything you do, from organizing the funeral, taking care of the loved one, talking to friends, and a lot of other things that need to be dealt with.
Here you tend to keep busy on the outside, to do what has to be done, or to distract yourself when it’s too much. You must have a good balance between the inner and the outer world for the whole process. Each world holds its very own challenges, and some days, you might feel that you are not able to function or think clearly. If this is the case, you might want to spend some more time in the inner world and leave the outer world for a while. This way you will need to catch up with the emotional plane before you can function on the material plane again.
Preparation for the transition of a loved one
Dealing with death is always a complex undertaking, and there are certainly no rights or wrongs. However, if you are taking care of a loved one or close to someone who is in the process of transition, you can consider the following points to assist them in their preparation. These points are only guidelines and will help you to keep track of what needs to be done and what maybe should be done.
1. Making sure the worldly stuff is in order
Dependent on how close you are to the person who is about to make a transition, it is essential that their final things are in order. This can be a daunting subject and probably the last thing you want to consider. However, it can also help to ground oneself and put the mind at rest for the moment when death has finally come. It is essential to make sure the person who is about to die wrote a will, has their paperwork in order, and also has a say about how the funeral should be conducted. You can gently ask if anything needs to be put in order and if the person would like to have any help with that. This process will help to find more clarity and focus. It also can enhance feelings of being in control and help not to leave too much work for others who stay behind.
2. Finish/Resolve unfinished business
Most people at the end of their life will start reflecting on their past. During those times, these people can become aware of shortcomings, mistakes, and regrets. However, offering a safe space to do that and maybe assisting with this reflection can be a great relief. If there is some unresolved business within the family, it might be helpful to ask the person if they would like to clarify this. Contacting the family member that is involved and explaining the situation to them could be something that you can offer. If speaking is not an option, the person who is about to transition could also write a letter or make a recording of the things that they wanted to tell others.
Knowing that we all make mistakes and it’s never too late to apologize or resolve them offers a great space for relief for all parties involved.
Additionally, in some cases, the person about to die would benefit from seeing a priest and talking to him (dependent on their religious belief) to get things off their chest and receive final blessings.
3. Tell them that you love them
To tell someone that you love them is a powerful gift. We often take people for granted or assume they would know that we love them anyway. Maybe there were difficulties in our relationships, but this might be the time to forgive, resolve, let go, and let the love flourish. This can be a great release for both parties involved and allows a lot of healing to take place. If you have shared memories together, why not bring a photo album and speak about the good times you had? Postcards, books, or other things that the person who is about to transition likes can be a starting point to bring back love into the last moments and the sweet memories it brings.
4. Ask for help
Caring for a loved one can be a huge responsibility and very demanding, both physically and emotionally, and mentally. At the same time, your loved one needs physical care and deals with her fear/worry of dying. You will also be going through your own stages of grief and desperation regarding facing the upcoming loss. This is a very intense time, and many cope by overworking themselves in caring for others. However, this is the time to get extra professional help and ask family members to take turns.
Take good care of yourself
An excellent way to help yourself would be to see a counselor or other therapist make space for your own emotional issues.
Additionally, many holistic therapies such as Reflexology, Massages, Acupuncture, or Reiki can be very beneficial in helping you to find new ground.
Furthermore, Shamanic Distant Healing Session can boost your energy, especially when you feel drained, exhausted, and on edge. Read more about this form of treatment here….
5. Talk about an afterlife
Being confronted with the final stages of life can be very daunting for many of us, especially if we have not cultivated any form of belief or spiritual philosophy that takes us beyond our only physical existence. These questions will arise, more so when someone is about to transition from the physical to the non-physical plane.
However, it is not too late to chat about a possible afterlife or about these things in general. Maybe the loved one is open to the idea or gives some space to share his/her concerns around this subject.
There is a lot of proof of reincarnation as well as about the so-called “afterlife,” and still, death is one of the greatest mysteries we will ever encounter.
The stimulation of spiritual thoughts and the consideration of what might be next can help both parties prepare for the loss.
6. Get a Death Doula
This concept has been around for a while, and back in ancient times, it was the medicine man and women who helped other people with the transition process. It was very common that people stayed at their own homes to die, and the medicine man and women would help them to face up to dying. A death Doula is a modern answer to this urgent call for help. Death Doulas help people through the stages of losing a loved one by explaining the signs of death, bringing emotional support, and assisting them as companions.
This can be a great relief for many people who otherwise need to go through this alone. You can find more information on this subject by following this link https://eol-doula.uk/
7. Cleanse the room of fear and negativity
You can use essential oils or incense to cleanse a room of negativity, worry, and fear so it won’t build up energetically.
Lavender, Lemon, or Atlas Cedarwood can be helpful to lift the spirit and help with the transition.
The lighting of a candle is also an additional touch of comfort that can make the room of transition a bit more friendly.
If the loved one likes music, why not play gentle music in the background? Just make sure that is actually what the transiting person wants. Some people maybe prefer reflective silence.
You can also look at our Astroshamanic Space Clearing Sprays and use them to keep the room light and airy and prevent build-up energies. Find our sprays here…
8. When the final moment has arrived
Sure signs will tell you that the person is about to go on their last journey. This is probably the most challenging part, especially when you are with them. It is the final, the significant letting go for both of you.
While some people prefer to hold the hands of their loved ones while they take their last breath, others might not be able to do so. Don’t blame yourself for that.
A loved one often transits precisely when no one is in the room. I want to believe it is because it is easier for them to let go finally. In the end, death is a personal experience and should also be seen as such. In many spiritual traditions, it has been said that we should open a window so the soul can find its way out into the universe.
The Buddhist tradition teaches that the soul needs at least three days to separate from the body entirely. That also means you have some time to say your final goodbye. Light a candle, burn incense, play some music, whatever feels right for you to mark the ending and the beginning of the journey is okay. If you are in a hospital, you can ask if you can have some time alone with your loved one to say goodbye.
Now its time to look after yourself
At this stage, looking into some shamanic healing for your personal aftercare can also be helpful. This can assist you in letting go, dealing with the pain and the grief, and offering a space to release grievances.
I offer Astroshamanic Healing Rituals that can be performed to assist in this challenging time of transition and can help you to deal with the pain and grief.
Please have a look here for more information.
FREE HEALING MEDITATION FOR GRIEF
If you are in the process of losing a loved one, please consider our Free Healing Meditation for Grief. You can download this meditation to any of your devices immediately. Here is the Free Download link…